woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up under a house in Key West
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
