Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Randomize
