the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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