What did we do last night that was yellow?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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