How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
