You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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