There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
