is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
