dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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