but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize