And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
