garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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