shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
