you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
