Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize