I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I intend to get homeless drunk
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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