No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
