So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
