I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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