I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
