first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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