You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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