Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
