hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
