I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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