Well apparently he's into motor boating.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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