Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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