Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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