i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
