her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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