Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found your dick twin last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
