he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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