Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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