Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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