today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I want a musical about memes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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