He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
