We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
