so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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