i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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