3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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