What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
