Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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