Please, let me fuck your mom
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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