yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.