i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook