It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize