I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..