If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls