i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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