Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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