why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
