Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
