Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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