I am in a vortex of obligation.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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