His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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