hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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