their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize