life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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