I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
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