she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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