My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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